In the last article, I talked about worry in reverse. In case you don’t remember all the way back to yesterday :) – here’s the definition again:
Worry is reverse is simply taking the habit of worry and pondering a positive outcome to the problem instead
There’s two types, proactive and reactive. I found that if I learned to do this proactively first, it helps prevent the reactive variety. Reactive worry in reverse is a bit harder, because you must then learn to catch your thought process at that point. Proactive is preventative – you purposely call up your worry and redirect it.
For now, let’s talk about the five step process for learning proactive worry in reverse. Then, next time, I’ll let you know about how to do this reactively.
- At the beginning or end of your day, find a quiet corner and think of something that you’re worried about. Start small. If you’re doing this along with meditation, I’m no doctor, but I advise doing so afterwards, since you’ll have to recall something negative to get to the positive part.
- Think about the thing you’re worried about for a minute or so, and really ponder the likelihood that it could turn out as bad as you think it could.
- Now, think about the best possible way the situation could turn out. Keep thinking “and you know what would be better than that?” until you have the best possible scenario, better than you truly think will happen in reality. I find I’m on the right track if I’m smiling.
- Keep replaying that potential positive outcome in your head for at least ten minutes. Do whatever helps make it feel more real in your mind. Involve all your senses – say it out loud, visualize it, role play if it involves others.
- Now, every time you think about this issue, until it is resolved, before you even get to worry, focus on the positive outcome instead.
It was really hard for me to do this at first, because I didn’t want to seem like a weak, idyllic dreamer who couldn’t deal with “reality”.
Then one day I realized that I can’t feel bad enough to make something that could be bad feel better. And, since it normally works out better than I hope, in the meantime I lose all the fun I could have been having in-between now and then.
Does this magically fix every situation that comes up? No. But it makes dealing with life easier and less stressful.
Does this mean I never worry? No. I’m still human after all. Only now, instead of worrying for days, I worry for minutes.
Then I put it in reverse. And gain back the contentment of the present. In the meantime, as I learned from a course by Dr. Robert Anthony, if I have a problem, I deal with it as best as I can in the present, or if I can’t deal with it, I stop worrying about it. Therefore, in the present moment, I really have no problem.
And that’s where I seek to remain. Worrying in reverse helps me do that.
It’s funny that I find my way to your post today. That’s definately the Law of Atttraction in action. You’ve reminded me to not fall back into old patterns that didn’t serve me very well.
My business partner (and very good friend) is going into the hospital tomorrow for major surgery. He’s pretty worried and I’ve stayed positive for him – looking at the best possible outcome, knowing it will all work out, encouraging him to believe it will all go well. Bad habits (just like good ones) are like an old comfortable sweater – it’s so easy to slip them back on.
I was starting to worry about him and his mindset going into surgery. Then I find your blog post and it reminded me that I can only control what I’m thinking about. So thanks for the reminder. I’m focusing on the best possible outcome for tomorrow’s surgery.
Hey there,
I’m very happy that my thoughts are helpful to you. Definitely focus on the positive. I’ll keep you and your friend in my happy thoughts.
Thanks for commenting. :)
that’s an interesting idea. It sure is better to think positively rather than negatively. I’ll have to try this out. ;)
Hey Sean,
Hope it helps. If nothing else, at least you get the joy of the moment back. Thanks for commenting!
Hi There!
Fantastic advice! What is worry anyway, but practicing a negative outcome.
In reverse is so smart…I tried it and it sure does work. I gave myself a specific amount of time to worry then when it was done, I moved on to the reverse.
And YES, I so agree with the idea that in this very moment there is nothing from the past or future and hence NOTHIN to worry about. This moment right here is really all we have, and it sure is a precursor to the next moment! Not set in stone though – we can have a miracle (change of heart) whenEVER we want one! :)
Thanks Tinu! Uplifting as usual.
@JuletteMillien
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I’m glad I could help. Not worrying is best, but until we can get there we can worry in reverse. I actually find it a big relief to purposely direct thought to the possible negative outcome. Because I think “is that as bad as it could be? if so, if that happens it is really the end of the world? could something good come out of this?”
The exception of course is when a loved one is ill. I skip the negative part then.
Me dull. You smart. That’s just what I needed.
That’s the thinking of a creative mind
I suffer from anxiety … depression … I take xanax when I hv to .. shake inside soo much .. i’m alright when I’m at work, my mind is busy, but when I leave work it really takes hold of me … it starts early in the morning when getting ready for work .. of course this pandemic has not helped any of us .. but I do not go anywhere .. do not have many ‘friends’ … I’m older … have health concerns and just worry about just almost everything .. sometimes I cannot hardly talk .. I’m a mess!! I’ve lost 35 lbs the last year due to a lot of this .. yes I have grown children and grandchildren, they do NOT visit me .. just a fustercluck of a pathetic life … work seems to be all i have and should retire, but to what …………. tv? I was told by one of the psychologist to volunteer .. to what?? I’m just a lost soul!!!!