In the last article, I talked about worry in reverse. In case you don’t remember all the way back to yesterday :) – here’s the definition again:
Worry is reverse is simply taking the habit of worry and pondering a positive outcome to the problem instead
There’s two types, proactive and reactive. I found that if I learned to do this proactively first, it helps prevent the reactive variety. Reactive worry in reverse is a bit harder, because you must then learn to catch your thought process at that point. Proactive is preventative – you purposely call up your worry and redirect it.
For now, let’s talk about the five step process for learning proactive worry in reverse. Then, next time, I’ll let you know about how to do this reactively.
- At the beginning or end of your day, find a quiet corner and think of something that you’re worried about. Start small. If you’re doing this along with meditation, I’m no doctor, but I advise doing so afterwards, since you’ll have to recall something negative to get to the positive part.
- Think about the thing you’re worried about for a minute or so, and really ponder the likelihood that it could turn out as bad as you think it could.
- Now, think about the best possible way the situation could turn out. Keep thinking “and you know what would be better than that?” until you have the best possible scenario, better than you truly think will happen in reality. I find I’m on the right track if I’m smiling.
- Keep replaying that potential positive outcome in your head for at least ten minutes. Do whatever helps make it feel more real in your mind. Involve all your senses – say it out loud, visualize it, role play if it involves others.
- Now, every time you think about this issue, until it is resolved, before you even get to worry, focus on the positive outcome instead.
It was really hard for me to do this at first, because I didn’t want to seem like a weak, idyllic dreamer who couldn’t deal with “reality”.
Then one day I realized that I can’t feel bad enough to make something that could be bad feel better. And, since it normally works out better than I hope, in the meantime I lose all the fun I could have been having in-between now and then.
Does this magically fix every situation that comes up? No. But it makes dealing with life easier and less stressful.
Does this mean I never worry? No. I’m still human after all. Only now, instead of worrying for days, I worry for minutes.
Then I put it in reverse. And gain back the contentment of the present. In the meantime, as I learned from a course by Dr. Robert Anthony, if I have a problem, I deal with it as best as I can in the present, or if I can’t deal with it, I stop worrying about it. Therefore, in the present moment, I really have no problem.
And that’s where I seek to remain. Worrying in reverse helps me do that.