I’ve been thinking a lot today about how to create the best mental foundation for the physical reality I’m in, and I was reading my Thoughts from the Universe that I’ve been missing the last 73 days. And I came across one that stresses visualization…. and you know what?
Ever since around my mid-20s, I lost a big part of my ability to visualize somehow. I think maybe when I was trying to get over some heartbreak or another, I stopped visualizing long enough for those neurons to stop firing together.
And yet? Spontaneously I sometimes can still envision things when I don’t think about it, so I know I still have the ability, just not the control. In the meantime I’ve just been practicing positive focus as worry in reverse, which has helped dramatically as well.
So. Anyway.
I realized what I need to do, and this will help me re-learn visualization. All I need to do is focus on remembering the last time I saw something that looks like what I want to have – imagination takes over from there.
For example, I start out thinking… I’d love to have a proud and peaceful moment with my mother when I see her tomorrow. And I wondered how to visualize that. I thought, hey she’ll probably look happy. And the last time I remember seeing her with a smile popped into my head!
So all I had to do was take that picture from Saturday and let my imagination adjust and expand it. Try and and let me know how it works for you.
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Men Want to Be NeededThere’s little doubt that a shift has ocuerrcd in the past decades with theindependence from men that women now have. Looking back to the 50’s and 60’s,this was a time when the man was, almost certainly, the breadwinner. Often thewoman would be a housewife and raise the children.Thankfully, women have broken out of that role and are living life in the best waythey see fit. However, the change has left men a bit on the ropes when it comesto their role in a relationship. Men have a desire to be needed. But…they aren’tneeded anymore per se. Instead they are wanted. This is a huge blow to many menwho grew up being told that their job in life was to support the wives and theirfamilies.Even in my life it has taken its toll. I’m 31 and wasn’t outwardly raised on the notionthat my place was to support my wife and family, but I saw it in my own family, andtook it on as my credo. Now I’m married and my wife makes more money than I do.On some level, there’s a part of me that wants to say, “You failed, you’re inadequate.”But that part of me is wrong.The truth is, we have to look beyond being wanted versus being needed, and insteadsee what has really changed the dynamic of the modern relationship. Instead ofone person being above the other, we’re a team. Husband and wife work together toachieve goals, have equal say, equal influence. In the end I had a realization that it’skind of selfish to require a certain amount of dependence from my wife towards me.I’m on a team now and I root for that instead.By Kevin McKee