love could be
around the corner from me
and i wont lie
i am
petrified.

he’s considerate and sweet
kind and he listens when i speak.
he’s good looking and back in high school
a good friend.

I look different now.
not just gained the 30 grown up pounds different either.

I grew nice inside
When I was teenaged I grew a caul over my heart
made from the ache of loneliness
I admit I knew I was somewhat pretty
Definitely sexy with full woman-sized breasts
And a near-perfect ass
And I used this so-called beauty to wound.

Stripped of that weapon, though temporarily
I am lost at how to walk through the world
Socially regressed
Hermetically sealed in the safety of solitude

And yet
Somehow

love could be
around the corner from me
ready to envelop me in a better, softer hold
I wonder if I should…
I wonder if I’m able…

Guess the only way to find out
Is to swing around that bend
Meet back with my friend
Begin this bewildering dance
Again