I’m actually sitting here with a tear pouring down my cheeks and can barely see the screen. Part of my reason for starting this site was to have a place to talk about my pain. It has been sixteen years (!) since I have lived more than a week of a pain-free existence. Since 1992 I have had problems with my back. And it’s hard for people to understand that I have tried just about every treatment under the sun, and that the thing that works for them when they throw their back out won’t work for me. The nearest thing to a diagnosis that I’ve ever had was spinal degenerative disorder, which to me is just a fancy way of saying that whenever I resolve a problem with my back it will creep back up again in three years, so don’t bother having surgery. On top of that I have nerve damage that affects my extremities. I don’t have health insurance, and even when I did I spent a considerable amount of time doing a little something I like to call “sucking it up”. Medications that are strong enough to take away my pain leave me unable to do anything else. Most aren’t even strong enough to do more than take the edge off, and since I build up immunity so quickly, I only take medications when I’m absolutely, completely desperate to stop the pain. And I have been. On more than one occasion, I’ve considered ending my life

Read the rest