If I told you the entire situation, you might wonder how I can be in love with him. I can’t because that would be revealing his business, and that’s the one thing I won’t do. There’s no problem sharing, at length, my feelings, how I feel, and my adoration levels. However, exposing him isn’t an option, even though you wouldn’t know who he is.
I wouldn’t want to do anything that I’d consider a breach of privacy.
Today we were on the phone for several hours. I’d been getting sleepy, so I came upstairs to lie down for a nap. I just had the feeling I should call him though. He hadn’t seemed his true positive self for a day or so.
We had a long conversation about the things that had been on his mind. I did my best to ask probing questions to see if there was a way that either I could help him with his problems, or make him see that some of his sense of failure was simply a need for an adjustment in perspective.
I’m happy to help any friend, and it gives me genuine pleasure to be that somebody to lean on, so for me, it’s almost like a treat to have that kind of conversation, and end it with the other person feeling better.
With him, just hearing his voice was enough.
I really, honestly wish there was some way that I could see this working out. Being realistic though, I can only burn my candle to him, faithfully, quietly and hope.
Even if my feelings are returned, there’s just no real place in either of our lives to take a break and experience that love and growth. I like to think in February, when I have a little pocket change, and the rest of my life is back on track, that I could indulge myself.
Still, while writing this (last night) I got a very positive sign.
He sent me a short, heartfelt note about our talk. And it made my smile deep into my soul.