So greedily do I gulp down memories of your sweetest flesh, hot against my mouth.
Playing my tongue against a recollection of your lips, I slow down to a sip, not wanting the drink of that image to ever fade. Because I remember, yesterday, the wave of euphoria, back to that first day you kissed me.
Pondering the lifetime and wanderings between now and then, it feels like I’m in a fairy tale, one of those where the protagonist follows fortune with a young expectant heart, constantly blessed with abundance, even a child, but not a lasting love. And he returns home, one day, hunts down the sweetheart who was there before the fame, and returns for her, sweeping her off her ground onto a cloud departing for the paradise only two twinned hearts can create.
That look in your eye then. I knew you were leaving and that I adored you but wasn’t ready for you to stay. How lost I was after your departure, not realizing you were the missing piece. Amazed at your nature to just treat people so humanely. Acutely aware of the extra you endow me with.
Which somehow whirls me back to when we reacquainted, just a few heartbeats ago. Hearing your voice filled with excitement upon seeing me before I knew you were there. Returning to you and being enveloped in … strength. safety. warmth. affection. Like a huge blanket of sweet fond feelings.
I could feel more from that hug that in some of the more lavish verbal expressions of love I’ve been offered.
Pulling away from you in surprise and experiencing delight at that approving, devouring look of yours that I remember. Then hearing you verbalizing it on top of my own glowing review of you.
Suddenly it was as if something electrical had reconnected, something so subtle I didn’t know it was gone until it was back. Powerful, but subtle, like beautiful music playing at a background level.
There is much of you that is unexpected. I thought I would find someone who was not nostalgic, missing me, finding me again, a pointed search for who I was, the me I still am. I prepared myself for a different type of approach to affection than I’d prefer.
Wrong again. From the easy way we fell immediately into holding each other, to hugs upon request and walking hand in hand so easily and comfortably, I could imagine how a less worthy woman would complain, as your ex had, that you were too affectionate with her. Whereas I believe there is no such thing. That an abundance of physical affection can compensate for so many other shortcomings.
And I know you have them somewhere, shortcomings. I have yet to make their acquaintance and memory does not serve me well there. I imagine that yours are many minor, rather than one large unmanageable.
None of which were shown in this first time you kissed me. Like some merciless attack against every logical counter I could imagine. An eraser of all doubt.
Bringing me to here. To a trust I once thought impossible. To a budding in me I thought I had buried again. Back here again. Staring up in your eyes, believing.
Faith in the entwined portion of our destiny.
And.
I, again, am yours, for that moment. We’ll see what happens next…