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Benadryl makes you high. Who knew?
Fun random tip.
You know how the active ingredient in Tylenol PM is Benadryl? You know how Benadryl on its own is an antihistamine, something you take to relieve an allergic reaction?
Yeah. They gave me a BUNCH of Benadryl each day. And it knocked me smooth out. But first? It gave me crazy giggles and just made me generally super happy. Not quite euphoric, just awash with gratitude.
Which is an appropriate mode to be in when you’re receiving medicine that could save your life.
Then to top it off I’d get sleepy and be out for more than half of my treatment. I was Not expecting that.
So my new worry the second day was: don’t snore. Luckily my mother was there the first day to let me know I was bringing the house down.
I may miss that private room after all.
I know, I digress. But it seemed a better opening than the recap. Which we should still get to…
What actually happens during a Chemotherapy session
Second day of chemo. My mediport is under that white thing, Click for a closer look.
So in the last post I focused mostly on what actually happens in a chemotherapy session, both technically in general, and specifically to me emotionally and physically.
When I was researching every cancer thing that ever happened since the dawn of man, I had a lot of trouble Googling my way to a good summary of day-of events.
I’m repeating this in detail even though it seems redundant, for people newly diagnosed with cancer who are searching. It’s hard to explain but all the details matter. Knowing as much as possible about what will happen helps with the fear.
But you want to know what’s funny?
Knowing this isn’t what helped the most. It was the people around me, which I’ll get to next.
IF you read the last post you already have this gist.
- I arrived at the facility and checked in at the front desk
- When they were prepped for me, I was sent back to the treatment area, where there are rows of recliners, and two private rooms
- I was weighed (discreetly lol) so the meds could be precise
- I was shown to my private room for new patients, and brought paperwork
- A nurse consulted with me about what would happen
- I saw my doctor but she didn’t come in
- Another nurse came and prepped my mediport
- I had blood drawn
- The head nurse consulted with me and brought more paperwork
- I was told the blood work was done, then received a copy of the results and an all-clear
- My port was flushed
- I met my nurse for the day who would come in, tell me the medication being loaded
- Nurse would periodically come in to see how I was
- Next medication would be added.
Your experience may vary somewhat, a good thing to Google is “first day of chemo” with the name of your type or sub-type.
Oh tasty wonderful friends….
It’s taken me about two days to write this post. Which is great because although the first day had a lot of new experiences, the second day wasn’t as event filled.
That was actually quite soothing. After a day of excitement volunteering to have, essentially, poison pumped into you, the last thing you want is more excitement. So a peaceful second day of injected baby unicorn tears is just what the doctor ordered.
What was great both days though? Was support from my friends.
When I posted to Facebook, people I hadn’t spoken to or hadn’t seen in years stopped by to write an supportive word or wish me well, alongside people I talk to and see all the time. It was really encouraging, the best feeling to fall asleep the night before something as scary as chemotherapy.
Thank you especially to all the former cancer patient caregivers and cancer conquerors that gave me an extra boost, warning or tip.
I appreciate every single person who reacted and supported me in any way through this. You just can’t know how much it helps to have this constant wave of love coming at you in this kind of situation.
Mom
For expediency’s sake, I set up my chemo patient education day on a day she wasn’t able to attend, which is what resulted in me accidentally scheduling my first chemo treatment on a bad day for her. I knew her procedure was on the 5th, but spaced that my Tuesday start was the same day.
I chalk it up to shock, because I really wanted her there. The only other major thing she’s missed this whole time was when I got the initial diagnosis of Lymphoma, and that was due to last minute mix ups.
I still remember coming back to the house, walking toward her at the door and seeing her hopeful, cheerful face, and knowing I was about to steal some of that hope out of her eyes.
As we later discussed, hey, I came back, it’s not like they had called her to meet me at the hospital or something. On the other hand, I didn’t have the “no cancer” news I had been wanting, not just for myself, but to end her worry.
So this was going to be the first major thing that has happened since my cancer diagnosis was confirmed that I thought she wouldn’t be with me at least part of the day. And that made it all the more scary for me.
My mother’s best thing, without a doubt, are her caregiving skills. It’s another story for another day but it’s not just her mothering instinct- she is a semi-retired nurse and so good at what she does.
Her being missing was something I felt I would need to overcompensate for. To escort me in, I clung to my father, for as long as he was there.
Sis
It turned out that she AND my youngest sister turned up shortly after they pumped the prep drugs into me, because her procedure was over that quickly. It was a huge relief having her there. I mean who doesn’t need their mother, really.
It was also really wonderful having my youngest sister there. She stayed exactly as long as I would have liked, as if she magically knew that once I fell asleep, I really didn’t want any witnesses to my snoring LOL.
I hesitate to do the whole BFF thing as a grownup, but she really is the closest person to me in the entire world. We had our struggles getting to love each other as teenagers – I mean I was kind of a bitch when I was a teenager but who wasn’t?
But she tried hard to fix what went wrong between us over the next decade and somehow penetrated my stubbornness. It’s great to be friends with your sisters, but it’s even greater to have your sister really want to be your friend and make such an effort.
She was the very first person I told when I first suspected something might be wrong. God forbid I should die? She’d be the very last face I’d ever want to see.
The only thing about her really, is that she won’t give me any of her children. I mean she has two sets of twins. I can’t have ONE baby? lol j/k. Love you sis.
Then more people went the extra mile
It turned out that I was done with treatment before she arrived, so she met me at the house.
For whatever reason it was one of the most loving experiences I ever had with her. We talked about some really deep issues that I normally don’t get to discuss, and she was so … insightful and deep and supportive.
Jill Foster, this is why you’re my fake wifey. Thanks for your love.
Earlier in the day, a friend who was with me when I got sick at an outing he took me to in Boston over a year ago, was driving through Maryland on his way back up north and came by the clinic for a short visit!
It was a wonderful surprise.
Adam Zand you are a prince among men.
More Magic on day two
On the second day, when my mother had to be at work, my Uncle came over.
I texted him at the last minute, more for my mother than for me, because she really wanted to be with me during the drug dose that results most often in allergic reactions.
Except for some itching and a few random pains around my spleen and in my boobs (??), it went smoothly. But having him there, was wonderful, especially since he’s a doctor who is chief of staff at a nearby hospital.
I know you’re not supposed to have favorite uncles. I have a lot of great uncles. But he’s at least my Closest uncle. Love him to pieces.
Lastly, but so importantly, right when my Uncle was leaving, my lovely friend Lani Rosales set up a kind of video party during lunch hour, so a bunch of my faraway friends from this community we belong to could all wish me well and be in touch with me.
It’s hard to say how important this was to me on this second day when I was mostly on my own after having three relatives and two friends with me in person some part of the day before.
All of the warmth and love and presence of all the people who were on that call moves me to tears as I write this. Some even hopped off for each other to make room to say hi.
Thank you all so much for being here for me from way over there, wherever you are.
And so much hugs and loves and thanks to Lani for organizing it, and continuing to be such a great friend through this whole … adventure.
So if you’re ever wondering what you can do for a friend going through cancer, even if they think they won’t need it, think about stopping by to be with them during a chemo session. Not everyone will dig it, but as someone who is often a loner, a 15 minute to one hour visit from a familiar face made all the difference in the world.
And if you miss the first treatment, don’t worry. I’m sure it’s less scary the next few times, but more people are aware of how boring it is to just sit there LOL. So maybe set yourself up for one of those.
Don’t feel like you need to make small talk or do anything. I’d have been fine with someone holding my hand or watching TV or surfing Facebook.
It’s your presence, the fact that you are physically there as a connection to what’s important in life, to the reason why you’re subjecting yourself to the regimen, a reminder of life and living through, that helps so much.
And it’s not just the day of- in the days before, my friend Shannon came to visit several times just to lift my spirits and get me to eat.
My long time friend Khadijah is putting together a fundraiser – which I really need because I’m only able to work a half-time schedule.
And it’s not the size or frequency of the gesture either. My friend Debra and my sister-in-law Petrice, who have fought similar, harder battles before, are an ongoing inspiration. I don’t see them often but it means a lot whenever I do.
I don’t care if you just commented on a Facebook post or called and talked to me for two hours. Your support is what keeps me smiling. People keep asking me how I’m staying in good spirits.
It’s you guys!
Thank you to everyone who is being there for me, virtually, in person, on phone. or however you’re managing it. I love you too.
Google photo animation from Chemo day two.