Here’s Biopsy Hilarity pt one & pt 2 if you haven’t read them yet. Also? This is extraordinarily not safe for work. So. Yeah. How do I start this…. Well first I should explain what I mean by Not-opsy. The procedure we’re about to talk about was not a biopsy. It was Hilarity indeed. At my expense by miles. But despite not being a biopsy, the hilarity makes it go with this series. It is the season finale, as it were. via GIPHY Toward the end of having cancer, you get to go through the whole PET/CT scan, heart check, stage again followed by lots of fun procedures as necessary. The first thing we found out, was that while my body was having tons of fun having the cancer poisoned out of it? I had a bunch of traitor-ass mark-ass snitch-ass tumors in my uterus. To see what kind of awesomeness was up in me, they were going to have to do a transvaginal ultrasound. Having spent practically a year of my life constantly on Google, I wasn’t too keen on looking up what the transvaginal part of ultrasound was about. I figured cold ass gel, weird plastic thingee taking pictures of my inner girldom, NBD. I was more preoccupied with how I was going to hold my water. You see, before a transvaginal ultrasound, you’re supposed to drink approximately twenty-seven fuck-tons of water, then not go potty until the procedure was over. A procedure during which they are going to press objects

Read the rest