it’s still the same
…and. the picture of you in my mind is of the softness in your eyes and a reflection of the love i have staring back at me. there are moments i’m so sure you feel it not that i feel i have to wait for what you’re feeling to address what i am …but. i am holding back. naturally out of concern for you, but a lie is a lie is a lie is omission and my level of contrition in the face of our redefinition of integrity – well it’s killing me. my love for you is bursting. i swim in it whenever my head is filled with your words secretly coming undone during innocent exchange moist and clandestine the blush flushes imagining your touch. you see? it makes me wander from the point of all this. which is you… …well. i’m digressing because i’m procrastinating and, well, i’m procrastinating because i’m scared. and i’m scared because i don’t know if this from me would be a new complication or a blessing to you then i realized yesterday just how much i loved you once. enough to drive me to tears and i haven’t cried like that in years not even over death. not too profound to say but i’m – doing it doing it again see? what you make me can’t take the anxiety. not anymore so i’m going to go ahead and open up to you no more… bs. …so. back then, when we were … so