I don’t write because I want to- and sometimes, I really DO want to. But that’s not why.
I write because I absolutely have to. Not writing, to me, is like asking me to hold my breath. I’m sure I could do it for a minute or so, but at some point, even if I was underwater, I’d no longer be able to fight that instinct to take a deep, huge, breath.
And now writing is tied to my income. One of the reasons I picked web marketing as a career in 2002, after 4 years making money from efforts more directly related to my writing, was that I could see how closely writing would be related to everything.
As early as 2000, I theorized that if even if the web became like TV, we’d need people to write the scripts, the commercials, the communications between people behind the scenes. In my dream if I knew how to get people to read what I wrote, then I could write forever.
It was a sound prediction. When I had the somewhat-unwanted attention of the web, it was always because of things that I wrote. At one time I had a highly trafficked blog, and wrote up to 6 blog posts a day. I was voracious.
It would be wrong to say that I’m not prolific now. But as I’ve written before, social media ends up eating most of my words. There’s so many sources for my research now that I end up more exhausted than inspired.
About a year ago, I decided that if it was writing I loved, that I should then focus on the writing part of my career. After 9 months of planning, the second day I saw myself as an official ghostwriter, I was offered a great opportunity, one that will change my life if it matures the way I’d like it to, and still allow me the time to pursue writing fiction again.
And yet. As easy as some kinds of writing is for me, I find myself a little stuck. If you can suspend your disgust for a moment, I liken it to constipation.
What’s a cure for this? Movement and hydration. How do you get unstuck as a writer? Be moved by something.
When I’m moved, I can’t help but to write. It comes easily. And I don’t have to be delighted. Today I’m writing because I’m a little depressed. I’m frustrated about not writing great things often enough. And I’m a little disgusted with myself because I know once I start, I’ll get there.
In starting this I thought I’d struggle to make it to 200 words, so my goal was 100. After all, only web searchers and die-hards read these words of mine. As of this word, I have 461.
How does one come about experiences that move them? In doing something different. The conventional wisdom will tell you to “just keep writing” – as in, every day, continue to write even if it’s crap.
Yeah, with my journal and Facebook and Twitter, I’m already doing that. And either I waste awesome words on a response to an article, or I write so much random stuff that I tire myself out before I get to excellence.
I said this to a friend the other day and I intend to follow my advice:
…I say, go do something that makes you FEEL like writing.Then it will come naturally. Read your favorite writer or just have a new experience. Or an old experience in a new place.