So yeah, I’m in love again if you haven’t noticed. I’m in a totally exhilarating, you-can’t-be-in-love Love, again. If I was to go by people I know the best, people who fulfilled the promises they made to me, this would be the person closest to being the love of my life, the one who got away. If I’m being honest, the only reason I didn’t give him the crown before was that he was out of the realm of possibility, in that he was taken at the time I was doing my tally. He’s not anymore, hasn’t been for longer than I would have thought. But I have to call him a crush because I just can’t go there. And if by some miracle it seems that I can, at the very least not yet. It’s not that new guy (we’re calling him Flame) is bad for me. It’s not that I’d be bad for new guy. Truthfully, thinking back I believe the only reason Flame and I are apart is circumstance. The circumstances were these (why did they cancel Pushing Daisies?). Number One: I’ve been through a lot of turmoil in my life, and my main coping mechanism is to block things out. I avoid thinking about things that are painful, finding a distraction until they’re just gone. This can be good in the sense that I’m functional for that period of time. It helped me survive the part of my childhood that is peppered with sexual abuse. So

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