loving recklessly since 1972 | TinuStuff

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I’m sure I’ve mentioned *cough!*whined!*cough* about the issues I’d been having with my self image, and I tell you, several things have changed that lately.

First of all, I went on the Atkins diet for a minute and rapidly and permanently lost a significant amount of weight starting in November. I started working out a little bit more and my back started feeling better… it’s hard to get the right balance of activity when I’m recovering, so that I’m not doing so much that I strain myself, but not doing so little that I’m stiff.

But for some reason, on and off since November, I’ve been hitting that spot. I’ve had my bumps and bruises and I’m not 100% yet. But I’m really started to feel good, to look good, and most importantly, to FEEL like I look good.

I’ve been off Atkins for nearly three weeks and I’m STILL losing weight like I’m at the end of the first stage of the plan. Probably due to the amount of activity I’m engaged in each day.

The second thing that happened is that I have started going out a bit more. Now that I am not in the kind of shape where as soon as I get somewhere I need someone to help me to the car and go back home, I don’t feel like a burden to whoever’s taking me somewhere.

I can even travel within a week from any given day, being able to pretty fairly predict from the way my body feels today, how I’ll be in a week. Big news since it used to vary so wildly from day to day for about two and a half years that I couldn’t plan trips, and had to order wheelchair service just in case, whenever I fly.

I’ve walked about half a mile on my own and not had problems. I have to go slowly, and rest half way, but I’m really doing a lot better than I hoped, a lot sooner than I hoped.

Anyway, on these outings, what do you know, I see people who know me, who saw me at my youngest sister’s wedding who are like, Oh My Goodness, Tinu, you’re disappearing.

And I know you ladies feel me — it’s one thing to realize that none of your fat clothes, then your regular sized clothes don’t fit because they’re all too big for you.

It’s quite another when someone else notices it so much that they do a double take and beg you for your secret.

Thing number three I’ll talk more about in another post. But I finally broke down and got a Brazilian training corset thingee to help my back, figuring the support would help, and as a plus, I can get my waist cinched.

It’s been working so well that I’ve already gone down one more size – I just got the thing last week. I lost so many inches that jeans I couldn’t pull up over my hips last week now fit me comfortably even without the corset on.

It ain’t no joke. I’ll do a found gems post about it.

Thing number four you partly know about already: male attention. Specifically from one male, but from the men in general.

Now the significance of the specific male is that he knew me at what I used to consider the peak of my beauty. Knew me in college, in various states of undress, know what I’m saying?

So he and I reconnecting and him thinking of me as just as beautiful as I was then, if not more-so, is of note above and beyond whatever this thing is that’s happening between us now. The reason being that mentally, I used to compare myself to that me in my head, thinking I’m not as pretty as I once was.

Now, I’m not only back to realizing that I’m just a different type of beauty again, I’m having moments where I feel like my present image beats the one I had before. A lot of this is due to the way the aforementioned gentleman relates to me now. To the point that if that’s the only reason he’s back in my life, it’s plenty enough for me.

I feel like I’m myself again. I definitely still have some work to do before I feel superlative, but I no longer want to hide when someone knocks on the door. Sometimes I even want to rush to see who it is so I can show off today’s look.

HUGE change for me.

Thoughts on the pictures are welcomed.

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