loving recklessly since 1972 | TinuStuff

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When you have severe weight fluctuations due to an on-going illness, it’s hard to see yourself for the way you truly look. One day you look in the mirror and the person you see is the reflection you remember. Then a few weeks of immobility later, you look again and the sight brings you to tears.

I made a post earlier about not being the real me. And a friend gave me perspective tonight on that.

A sexy friend.

No, not Flame. (Told you I have back up plans. Ha!)

I put up a profile picture of how I look when I’m not sick. And this friend we’re talking about, let’s call him VolksWagen, reacted.

Like seriously on some I could leave my woman behind that.

This is a very respected friend online who is a fine black man of the dateable persuasion, who in all the years we’ve know each other has never, EVER hit on me nor has he approached me in any way based on my looks.

Most of the guys I’ve worked with have made a pass at me at some time or another, on more than one occasion, so you understand the context – I’m not saying I’m Ms America, just that I’m used to guys, especially in my business, making constant passes at me.

And so intelligent, I mean this is a man of… mmm mmm mmm.

You know how intelligence turns me on even more than good looks. For me, half the compliment is about who it comes from, you know?

Tonight, this guy? Had never known him outside a professional context until today. And he gave me all kinds of love for this picture.

Click for larger image

Now here’s the curious thing. He said it wasn’t just that I was more physically attractive in that picture. Rather, it was also because of my energy. And I realized, I haven’t consistently had that level of happy, the-world-is-mine pep in my veins since 1993, when I first got sick.

I also realized, I am currently the closest I have been since becoming sick, to looking like the woman in that picture, that ME. I will be *smaller* than that goal weight, at this pace, come February.

So I’ve decided that to take it the rest of the way, with the big check I’m planning on getting in January, after tying up loose ends with my business and pre-ordering a years worth of ads, I’m gonna have a full makeover.

February 2nd is what I’m shooting for, that’s a Monday. I’m planning to have it right after a spa weekend.

I’m getting:

In other words, I’m about to get fly.

Flyer than fly.

And on my way there, I’m adding a weight lifting cycle to my fitness program, so I can be a little firmer. Today, right now, (okay 2 weeks ago) begins my Outer Beauty matches Inner Beauty Program.

See you on the other side.

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