loving recklessly since 1972 | TinuStuff » love poems

certain. now…

Tinu — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:28:01 +0000

for a second there

just a second

i was starting to think i made a mistake
starting to to think letting you in was not the smartest move

but now?
after yesterday?

i’m sure this was the right path
positive you were the right choice
i know i haven’t picked someone who was wrong for me
i know i haven’t deluded myself into another adventure with unavailability

and to think i wandered into this thinking
this was short term fun.
rather than a slow, easy journey to a new joy.

If only i could explain what you’ve done for me
just by being you
if only i could find a way to reciprocate for everything you do
at the moment, the only thing i think of
is to maintain an oral recognition
of the regal manner in which you’re fulfilling all my wishes
especially the ones I didn’t know I had.
you’re a genuine diamond
your sparkle blinds me

and from my heart to yours my lion
your shine will never go unappreciated.

you are

Tinu — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 12:03:42 +0000

you are

the answer to questions unasked
a single sweet icicle of promise in an unending desert of summer.
thought you a mirage
because of how quickly circumstances changed
from near
to a little far
to moving to the West someday soon.
i was wrong.

you are more than real.

not a deceptive bone in your body
not a single atom that fakes integrity in your form
not a runner in the direction of away
just a leisurely captain of a ship that sails in languid tiptoes closer
enjoying the journey.
i like that.

you are
the one i hold in my mind’s slumber
and awaken happily
…sometimes with moments of you
pressed to my chest
cleched in sheets wound round my legs…
but mostly dressed in disjointed fragments of mirrored smiles
… i never remember my dreams that come true

you are
brilliance dancing off the page and into my blood

you are
illumination sliding slowly from the farthest point in the universe
that has been on its way to me since the beginning of time
surviving light year travel to whirl around this humble earth
whirling your luminescent intellect across each life you touch

you are
song sung without words
jazz even without sound
my thoughts scat you all day long

you are
a quilt of saved pictures
recorded voice
mysterious letters formed to conquer me
watercolored or oiled familiarity

you are
what i see in the mirror
when i look into the hunger of my own eyes

you are.
and that is all i need.

it’s still the same

Tinu — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 05:18:21 +0000

…and.

the picture of you in my mind is of the softness in your eyes and
a reflection of the love i have staring back at me.
there are moments i’m so sure you feel it
not that i feel i have to wait
for what you’re feeling
to address what
i am

…but.

i am holding back. naturally out of concern for you, but a lie is a lie is a lie
is omission and my level of contrition in the face of our redefinition
of integrity – well it’s killing me. my love for you is bursting.
i swim in it whenever my head is filled with your words
secretly coming undone during innocent exchange
moist and clandestine the blush flushes
imagining your touch. you see?
it makes me wander from
the point of all this.
which is
you…

…well.

i’m digressing because i’m procrastinating and, well, i’m procrastinating
because i’m scared. and i’m scared because i don’t know if this
from me would be a new complication or a blessing to you
then i realized yesterday just how much i loved you
once. enough to drive me to tears and i haven’t
cried like that in years not even over death.
not too profound to say but i’m – doing it
doing it again see? what you make me
can’t take the anxiety. not anymore
so i’m going to go ahead and
open up to you no more…
bs.

…so.

back then, when we were … so … entwined. press rewind and pause
and you’ll see that i didn’t just adore you. it went so much deeper
and if you click forward one frame you’ll see me loving you
and not loving you, to be clear, like one loves a dear one
or even how you love a dear one you fell into a
lust-ship with for a few months, more like
i was in love with you. so deeply
i wore it casually but it was
a formal affair to me
i loved
you.

…yes.

i was in full on, yes i will marry you like you asked me the first time, love.
and was is the wrong word. especially in the space where i write
because i am still in love with you and to tell the whole truth
i’m fairly sure i never stopped loving you
just gave up that we could be. i know
you can’t love me back. probably not
now at least, but if you could i’d
do
say
be

anything.

go anywhere
as soon as
we’re
free.

precisely because i know you’d never
let me change. not for you.
then, you loved as is.
and that is why.

i’m no longer ashamed of it, and.
it’s the same, my part of us
it’s the same this love,
we’re the same

it’s
still
the same.

and i?
am out of the keep it secret game…

Kepera, a collaboration*

Tinu — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 09:24:14 +0000

in a dreamless night…
where only stardust clothed my after thoughts of you before i saw you smile at me from the dark side of the moon…
you remind me what water tastes like
..or snowflakes on June days in Georgia…
or young love in the twilight of an after life…you remind me of my future past…

i am shy inside, my thoughts darkened with the precious words that lay on your breath, sending me a gentle breeze of adoration.
you make me feel as light as the step of those freshly in love… i turn on satin sheets to the painful emptiness of my bed, clutching thoughts of you to my sweat soaked body.

I will become you. . .and you will become me. . living out all ancient allegories. . becoming the trees of knowledge and the potters wheal of an infinite galaxy. . inhaling life. . . exhaling rosaries that bend in the windpipe of my hindsight. . .

I’ve seen you somewhere before. . perhaps in a future life?

i will meet you soon, maybe yesterday, maybe i have already been with you tomorrow. i can feel your rebirth inside me from before we were born. the ribbon that is time ties us together, ever bound with an echo of our shadows within each other….

i miss you even though you are always here, in the molecules of the yearning between my thighs, on the song of my skin recalling your hair, when the sun sets, painting miracles of ocular intoxication within a mood that reminds me of the you i have yet to meet.
this excites me.

…almost to the point of intoxication or orgasmic hallucination. . I’m imagining the love I would make for you . . a gift to be hung around the sun in every galaxy from here to kingdommmm. . . gone . .in a billionth of a second. . in the moment it took to bat an eye. . . . . luv becomes moon dust. . ancient as the galaxy. .

i sit inside this infinite second of love that i want to selfishly share with you, if only to see your smile rival the stars and shatter time, placing us in the stillest waters of eternity where we could bathe in each others gaze.

when i find a gift of myself to give you it will have no beginning and no end, only the continum of the pleasure awakening my being from the knowledge that i make you happy, if only for a brief forever…

cause we make me happy . . .and your kiss is the life blossom in valley of the reality of death. . .

and us makes me blush… your touch is the birth of every dewdrop of joy that ever brushed against the springtime of our next lives

I stand in that place in space and time where possibilities echo. . where words and dreams that have never been seen are the only reality. . and you are within me. .
WE
ARE
DIVINITY……..

WE
ARE
DIVINITY……..

and the very cause of our desire is its manifestation… born to spirtualize the meaning of our existence…pieces of each other set to flow back into the oneness we came from in one another.. i are you you be us we am me in them that is i and all of this will come to pass in our pasts…

……..divinely……..

This was a poem written by myself and the friend of mine who painted the soul and memory likeness of me before we would ever have the chance to meet. He painted it without pictures, just a description and an idea of me in his head. We were close friends, once a bit romantically so, but never in a serious relationship.

In fact, at the time of this writing, we were both writing about other people. My contribution is the italicized portion.

I’ll post a snapshot of the painting next. Then off to bed with me, finally.

prance

Tinu — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 05:07:45 +0000

like horses the fandango is
ones who you may not be sure
want to trample each other
in love’s wild stampede
to stand still together
or mate in parting
leaving just one
beautiful still.

you lead me into destruction
and what kind of fool does that make me for following?
caught in the hypnosis of your breath
or the imagined image of saving you right before you hit the cliff
…it exists with that duality of reality
the fact that you cannot be saved
because your allegiance already lies in demonic ways
it’s as much your nature to destroy
as it is mine to create
and the heavens shake in joy
—or is that laughter?—
at our nonspecific but predestined pairing

in the end
we do the same tango
as any other set of loves, lovers, or love-lovers
we’re set in opposition from the day we fought our way into the world
on the same slippery canal i want you to re-enter
with twice the love you left
on the same road you are so angry at for leading you into life
and instinct rides you to break if you can
but you never realize how resilient creation’s path is…
of course
neither do i
or my chase would be over.

we’ll continue
as i sit wearily in timeless disregard of you
i know
it will begin again
you will return to me with wrecking plans
only difference will be your face
and like always
whatever i want to build
you’ll smash as is your purpose
without guilt

like horses the fandango is
we dance into
into our dying duet.

from a love letter…

Tinu — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 08:20:29 +0000

you were pressed against me in moments captured on mind’s film,
your presence borne of a heart’s breaking into
new acquaintance with harmony.
the paradise of your eyes
sang poems without lustful melodies-
desire was of the whole me,
she sexual,
she intellectual,
the real me who is at times apprehensive
that wants to love you deeply…

not sometimes,
but on every day that the sunrise is blessed
with the honor of dripping its rays of light onto your polished bronze cast,
illuminating a rainbow tinted path to my
daily lyric of love, floating off my tongue to you, hymn of the him i see in your apparition.
yes… daily a love articulated to you in symphonies of love’s observations
and
declarations to you.

days
that yawned and stretched themselves into weeks and
years
of our union,
would pass through time’s sands,
with the rapidity of pleasure experienced in each and every breath taken,
seeming everlasting to us,
as we flowed back and forth rhyme,
scribe to scribe.

i fantasize of that era…
after our touching becomes natural
…and less shy….

and to think
i may have
never
revealed the sensations
which sat crystallized in that state,
as a rose
pressed
between the pages of a love story,
still holding the pattern of its fragrance,
waiting to be set free
in its re-birth
from a two dimensional remembrance
to a living entity,
wondering if you would water
it with your own care….

the recollection of how it almost was not
has me daring
dreaming
that you send me messages of a longing
a yearning for presence mostly
and somewhat of a loving touch
unable to speak your love
i’d be required to consume it
in its more potent form
sipping directly from your languid eyes
just one look would quench this craving in me…
no need for formalities
or affixing labels to our intersection…
all i want is to look on your face
know you are real
feast on your gaze
regard the mirror image of the sun setting therein
read the honesty in your aura
revel in the presence of a true king…
…my King…

and i close my love letter with thoughts of you
some pure…
some adulterated with erotic notions.
as i anticipate your receipt of my love words,
i glow with delight.
i am
exploding
like a new star
and
you are
a black hole
drawing all my energy into you,
spinning me into your vortex.
light sinks into the embrace of
perfect darkness.
we disappear together into the next dimension
knowing….
it will be
as beautiful…
as us together.

and it aches,

Tinu — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 07:19:00 +0000

like a papercut
sharp. but not really that painful
more mad than anything
like when you stub a toe that’s already been stubbed before.
again.
right when it was on its way to healing.

I can’t even believe, looking back
that I was stupid enough to love you
to sacrifice for you everything
when you gave so little to me
to move ever closer to you
the more you became aloof

that for one second
I ever believed
there was something wrong with ME
that caused me to think we should ever be together.

and it aches,

and I’m so sad I don’t ache from post-love
from heartbreak
even from hatred.

I’m more mad than anything
about this wound being re-opened
that you picked at this scab that was finally starting to heal
that you
that you
that you

even exist, twisted in the sickness that was us
– well, really, mostly me –
that you now think there’s some way I can be un-freed from you
as if you ever held a deed to my heart.

it’s not a thing to be owned, and can only ever be given freely.

In my physical state
I’ve always hated the ache
Not quite a pain
But too much sensation to be nothing
I’m almost mad at myself that I’m not in a lovesick frenzy
Over the afterthought way in which you’ve treated me

Thinking you’re leaving me now,
When you’ve been gone for so long.

Don’t you know?

I got over you then -
when your arms were too full of your own bullshit to hold me
then, when ten minutes of your time at night was too much to ask.
Which serves me right for asking for so little, such a small corner of what I’m really worth.
Then again, a little of you used to be so potent before I found out that it was a false high…

and it aches,
that we were over before we could even begin.
that it took you this long to even notice. let alone care.

and it aches,

it aches.

aches.

and i wish it hurt.

…. desperately….

because that would mean, at least,
even if I was miserable,

….that I was in love.

» your smile

Tinu — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:58:20 +0000

your lips curl around spaces between words
i can imagine the dewy softness on my body
so soft and so male and so aggressive
you devour me slowly and with so much tenderness

…drink in my skin
…breathe out my soul

» close.

Tinu — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 05:18:09 +0000

eager hands
glide
over dressed flesh.

under skin
desire

crackles though hot blood
like popping corn.

lustful intentions
are postphoned

for one smooth sweet second
to celebrate the stillness
of thie private moment.

a minute before,
boiling passion was
sprinkled with laughter.

as it will be again,
in the minute after

and so between
i pause
and linger
in the delicious sensation
of holding you.

» love number two

Tinu — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 09:44:34 +0000

where do you stop / where do i begin
when my soul flies into yrs
and yrs mine in

with yr strokes up
and my strokes down
until the air is

heavy

smells like

sweating
separate
sex

but feels like

one flesh
braided by eternity

keep threading
my needle
with yr thick string
cure my insanity
with the pleasure you bring

and i’ll unstich yr
velvet cries
with my thighs

and unravel
the satiny smoothness
in yr eyes
with my grinds

until hair sweats
and knees quake

and even

brief

separation

makes our bodies ache
when lips

forget talk

and legs
will not walk

… then i’ll ask you again …

where do you end
and i begin

mingling of spirit
nothing like sin….

» chess

Tinu — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 17:43:10 +0000

a kiss begins,
when heads turn towards each other in unison.
shall we cross the seconds to each other?

who

will make the 1st move?

lean forward
lean back
lean forward
lean back
hearts beat
neck to neck
as one face decides to bridge the gap..
the other wants to call the bluff
with hestitating mouth
and instead is taken
as a prisioner of love’s sensual battle….

Checkmate.

» William B.

Tinu — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 09:01:40 +0000

i remember our simple love.
holding each other at night.
Tight.
like children afraid of summer thunder.
i would cling toyou like the last straw in quicksand.
And your loving hands would press me genly,
as if i were a delicate flower,
petals shyly folding.
i wish for those times.
when it was enough to watch t.v. and laugh at the world.
when our silence meant only warm contentment.
when i only knew a tear during moments of
explosive
releasing
Joy.
i wish i had not outgrown you.
i wish i could turn back and run into your arms.
i wish, at least, that i had not broken your spirit,
when i relaxed my grip.
but i am not the same girl you loved.
nor am i the lady who left you.
finally,
i have become a woman.

» intensity

Tinu — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 21:40:39 +0000

i am
immersed in eyes pouring clouds of perpetual incineration-
we are ageless, burning at its height.
i am
held by eyes to my bed and to his skin-
we are one implication of vivid saturation.
i am
enthralled by the live connection between eyes that flash the progression of our affection through time as it stands still
we are wired on the intonation of each others inhalation of elation
i am
transformed into pure Love at these moments when our words unite with our thoughts joining us through breath, blending with our gazes and our movement stirs us into one entity.
we are one.
it is
intense.

3 months

Tinu — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:36:04 +0000

dearest,

drink of me.

yours am i to partake of, lips to kiss, arms to hold.
i’m lost in the ocean of you, salty snippets of paradise plastered wetly to me at night…
you, so dear to me, it almost scares me to speak of this origin inside me
the beginning of love.

lain, so prone to new possibilities of life, produced the secret to my new impregnation
full i am, with you. my soul hangs low to the ground dressed to the nines with abandon
nourishment neglected in the face of my attempts at denial
framed logic in questions
how
why
now?

you are always present in my mind’s palace of pleasure
where each jewel is a glowing thought of your magnificence
i lay here impregnated with so much love struggling to come out
wondering if this birth of you within is celebrated too soon
am i premature in my wanderings, wondering if i can grasp
my own answers to your newness and pull them through.

only emotion can answer the inquiries of this idle mind
…for all the answers lie within you
genius of art scripted oiled melodied symphonied…
…for all the answers lie within you
visions of divinitity as apparition, haunting all my nows with your eternal eyes
…for all the answers lie within you
aroma of strength wafting towards me, wrapping me in your truth
…for all the answers lie within you
mind made for molecules to meander into meaning and manuver miracles
….yes… all the answers to why i could love you
….yes… all the answers to the hows and whens
lie within my inspiration
you.
and who would not be powerless
in the face of that merciless glory?

so.
drink of me.

silk lined sensuality seals this echo where i kneel
ironically
in prayer
casting light to shine on you in your life’s bondage

…never written anniversaries of my heart before
…never opened this particular door
but now
somehow
you scatter enlightenment
where radiance has never been.

and yet here i am
shining like the inception of pure light
floating like raindrops to the ground in spring
embracing earth with all its devotion
appearing to construct the future foundation on which we exist
on which
we
exist…

and it is here that i lay
wrapped in the majesty of your beauty
swimming in the most complete sensation i’ve ever felt
plugged into your soul
in a place where a we could exist
painted flushed by this bliss
offering you something no one has ever had…
complete trusting dedication
and possession of my soul…
so please, drink
my waters for you are eternal.
and i seek to quench your thirst for forever.

hazy

Tinu — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 17:29:53 +0000

photo credit: wizardofozgurl

how it seems inside the thought
how it feels inside the moment

like a mirage in this desert

surreal.
come here, he said

first there was smoke between us
then air
then
smoke blended into tongues
erasing thin boundries
and as the emissions from what was lit
fell into the arms of the night
as it disappeared
nothing was between us

at all.

we crossed a line we can’t re-construct
self conquered.
the wavy lines of our heat
makes it appear
alternately
perfect or wrong.

and i need the morning to come
so i can see by the light of another sun
what this is when the brightness dims….

paper’s reflected romance

Tinu — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 14:14:59 +0000

photo credit: Jinhan

pen kisses my thoughts of you to paper
love rhymes their child and ours
the product of both of our emotions
merging in my mind with expressions to float to you
on the backs of lilies.

it creates such heavenly art
that tears me in two as i seek this destiny
to be one with you
to be one with your mind
i want to travel in the galaxy between your ears
the infinite knowledge of so many years before we were born
into this plane of material things that get in the way of the moments
when i truly exist
those moments when

fingers caress my thoughts of you on keyboards
kneading love as artistic creation’s confection
the result of both of our feelings
reeling in the breeze of our elegant epiphany shared

a love divinely manifested

in a world we re-created with new iriese beholding
beauty re-birthing new linguistics
to portray such a height of supreme radiance
that cycles my tears into smiles and back again…
emotion too deep to be contained in one expression
sensations too real to be confined by convention
i need to make myself into many of your life’s jewels
become treasure for you to taste anew daily
to submit to the will of your happiness
to master the ability of commanding your tranquilty

with these words
i’ve thee fed
over and over
and over
again
in so many modes
they are all formed for you to know
the boundless extent of the affair your love
is having with my life
the ceaseless scope of my adulation
for your brilliant mind, and dazzling spirit,
as well as admiration for the house it has chosen
to spin in such stunning awe across this earth.

and i create this romance between words
they unfold this miracle of love
and no matter who reads them
only you will know their true meaning
as they exist only as mirrors to our own
for you to behold our heaven
from the vantage
of how lovely i’d like to make our existence together
for you.